An Unexpected Miracle

With so many things happening all over my world, I needed this moment to recollect my thoughts and weed out whatever is unnecessarily eating up mind space.

Last night as I was driving (read: crawling) along C5, I opted to listen to Easy Rock 96.3 instead of getting more typhoon updates from any AM station.As usual, I sang along as I tapped the steering wheel to the beat of the music. My logical mind told me that Pepeng is packed with strong winds, thus I needed to secure my home by placing tape on all glass panels and moving stuffs to the second floor in case of flood.

What if they shut off power tonight? Well, we have a couple of flashlights ready.

What if floodwater enters the house again? The place is all wet anyway.

What can we eat? Hmm, there are some canned goods in the trunk.

But I’m hungry now! I’ve been stuck here for more than an hour! Oh, there’s a guy selling Tempura (the junk food, not the real ones!). Kuya, pabili po!

Good thing I allowed my creative mind to rule over. Instead of worrying, I ended up calm and even enjoying the drive back home. Music has indeed this amazing effect on the human spirit.

Then suddenly there was this strong urge to talk to someone. At that moment, there was no one else in the car but me. No carpool-mates, no hitchers, nobody. I turned off the radio, and there was awkward silence.

But there was this gentle tugging inside me. A soundless voice that invited me to pray and stop worrying. An invisible hand comforting me beyond the effect of music.

That’s when I began to pray the Rosary, a very beautiful and powerful prayer for those who truly believe in it.

And as the rain poured, I cried like a lost child finding her way home once again.

Simple but real miracles. They still happen.

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When The Clown Cries

Right in the middle of nowhere, an idea touched me: I was born to make people happy. And why not? Through the years I feel this natural knack for putting people at ease, making them comfortable even during the first conversation, treating them as if long lost friends.

But reality knocks me down — even clowns need to shed off their smiles once in a while. To nurse their own wounds, and feel the inevitable pain that goes with it.

And I am one proud and silly clown.

Quiet Storm

There’s something about the rain that enchants me. While some people may find this weather bothersome, I find it the perfect time to drench one’s self in ideas and reflections, whether they be trickling like a drizzle or howling like a angry storm.

It leads me to discover sentiments I never had before, and to rekindle old ones. It drives me crazy and keeps me sane at the same time. It makes you write words like “rebirth” and “rehab”. It tugs your heat and makes you fall in love again.

Pause

Today was a day of pause for me, a time to recollect my thoughts and sort them out, putting them in boxes with the labels: “urgent”, “something to learn from” and “things to ponder on next time”.

It was also a time to let my body recover from all the activities I’ve been engaging in. I realized I’m not that unstoppable after all. There are limitations I must accept, and mistakes to remedy.

…and some mistakes are very costly.

Another random thought

I found myself walking towards that familiar place, as if some force was leading me to it. There was nothing resisting in me that time, something almost involuntary.

It’s been a while since I poured out my heart to someone like that. There was a mixture of emotions, and although I didn’t really talk at all I was certain somebody was listening to me.

Some of my questions are still unanswered but all I asked for was a little bit of help until the next round.

Sleepy Me

For some reason I had to wake up early today — 6:30am! And since Rufus needs some rest, I had to take public transportation to Makati. My patience was put to the test when the jeepney driver kept on stopping at every corner to get more passengers. Well, he’s in control, not me. He could do whatever he wanted, it was his jeep anyway.

The same thing happened in the bus. There was nothing I could do. Everybody seemed to be out in the streets trying to get to work.

I am so sleepy I can’t write anymore.

Flickr Photo Credit: onkel_wart

Thirty, Flirty and Thriving

This Jennifer Garner film is one of my favorite movies of all time. Not to mention that it also features Mark Ruffalo who is a cutie himself.  When this movie was released in 2004, it made such an impact on me since I was also turning 30 at that time. (Yes, you may do the math to find out my current age!)

Crossing the line from the 20s to the 30s was a big deal for me at that time, but thank God this movie made the transition so much easier. Being 30 was like plunging into the unknown, and I wondered if I would start feeling squeamish when somebody asks for my age.

If you had the chance to watch this quirky tale about big-time magazine editor Jenna Rink, you will agree with me that there are many lessons to pick up from the story.

Being a magazine writer, I can totally relate to the idea of competition. Every publisher wants the lion’s share, and sometimes a brilliant idea is all you need. There are moments when you have to stand out among the all-too-familiar and create your own path.  Being different can be refreshing.

Jenna Rink’s presentation was one of the sentimental parts of the movie.

“Who are these women? Does anyone know? I don’t recognize any of them. I want to see my best friend’s big sister, the girls from the soccer team, my next door neighbor, real women who are smart and pretty and happy to be who they are. These are the women to look up to. Let’s put life back into the magazine. And fun and laughter and silliness. I think we all - I think all of us - want to feel something that we’ve forgotten or turned our backs on because maybe we didn’t realize how much we were leaving behind. We need to remember what used to be good. If we don’t, we won’t recognize it even if it hits us between the eyes.“

So what are the things that used to be good? Dancing the Thriller, eating an ice cream cone not counting the calories, pajama parties, playing on a swing, playing a cassette tape and rewinding it, and of course, idolizing Madonna!

If only we could buy Matt’s wishing dust, then probably we could go back in time and relive these good stuffs. On second thought, we don’t need wishing dust to relive them.

You see, the real “good stuffs” are timeless, whether you are 13 or 30. They are family, friendship, and love. Love is all we need.

Love is a battlefield.

Just A Thought

I miss swimming. The last time was when I fell off the raft at Davao last month. Hehe. And that was not exactly what I have in mind. I wanna get into a pool and stay there for hours.

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Quarter Past Midnight

As always, here I am with my free-flowing thoughts, recalling how my day went. This is the time when I choose something to write about. And often I find it hard to choose for there are so many stories that I can’t wait to share.

There is a new habit that I am trying to incorporate into my lifestyle and that is walking. I’ve become so attached to driving that it’s about time I use leg-power. Driving since 1994, I have to admit that driving gives me a sense of freedom and command. Being in the driver’s seat has its perks, but there are times that it can be burdensome, especially if you can’t find a parking space. This is where walking comes in handy.

Like driving, walking takes me to many places. In fact, walking takes me to places where driving cannot, such as little patches of garden hidden in the urban jungle.

The not-so-secret garden that I found allows me to enjoy walking all the more. Finding a walking buddy whom you can chat with makes the experience even more pleasant.

Down By The River

It feels good to have finally released pent up emotions. Pride is so hard to swallow and admitting one’s mistake can sometimes take days. In the end, all is well that ends well. Life goes on and you learn another lesson until you’re again stuck in a rut, facing a blank wall, or lost in the middle of crossroads.

I still can’t get over the fact that I fell off the raft when we did whitewater rafting in Davao. And it happened when I least expected it. My theory is that my guardian angel pushed me (oops, sorry, I know that it impossible!) but still made sure that I will be saved, just to give me a little lesson. To make the trip not only about laughter and having fun but wisdom as well.

Having a wrist brace which I should wear for a few more weeks (or even months) made me decide not to join the rafting anymore. I already made previous plans to see the food festival while the others go rafting, but like in any vacation, changes crop up. I disobeyed my doctor’s orders and ended up having a great time traversing the river wild.

So what did I learn from the ride?

That life is a made up of still water and unruly waves, that somewhere along the way are “surprises” that may catch you off guard if you are not paying attention, or have become complacent.

That no matter what happens, help is just an arm reach away.

That looks are deceiving. No matter how weak you appear to people, you are still capable of saving others.

That trust is important even if you are surrounded by strangers.

That even if you think you are good, you can still fall.

That it’s all about the attitude. The same wave can appear exciting to one and dangerous to another.

That rest is necessary even if it is sometimes boring.

That you need to pay attention and put your mind and heart in everything that you do.